When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
-
Grade Allen
Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs.
-
Eugene Field
Men will now get up and walk with the baby in the middle of the night change its diapers and give it a bottle but in their heart of hearts they still think they shouldn't have to.
-
Rita Rudner
We learn from experience. A man never wakes up his second baby just to see it smile.
-
Grace Williams
I'd like to start a family but you have to have a date first.
-
Larry David
More Quotes By Rita Rudner
I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Men forget everything women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened.
I had the most boring office job in the world... I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
